My Doctor *Sigh*

Going Crazy!

Well let me start off by saying that my Doctor, needs a Doctor….

Before my anxiety and panic attacks reared their ugly head and sent my world into a spinning world of chaos and never ending Doctor visits, I liked my Doctor, even when people said that he wasn’t a good doctor, maybe I should have taken their advice?

He was always pleasant, easy to get along with, seemed to care, and I always left happy and content in what he said.

Recently, by recently I mean the past couple of years I’ve been wondering his ability to actually do his job. Did he just get a cereal box, got a PHD and became a doctor? No, probably not, but it feels like he did. I know some people can relate to doctors like this, and others can’t, for those of who can’t, please don’t think I’m saying all this for the sake of it. No, indeed I have reasons.

When I first came to him with what I had he was eager to help *yay* … Slowly after a while he got less and less enthused to see me. As of my last visit, he laughed at me and said “I’ve done all the magic I could, and unless you have a lot of money to pay for real therapy, I suggest you go to mental health.” Yes… Ponder that for a moment. Ok, done? Now not only did he say this to a patient, who’s been seeing him for the past 10 years, but he laughed and said the above quote. He’s only EVER tried me on 3 different types of anti-anxiety/panic attack medication, which I never knew there were only three kinds of the drug out there *sarcasm to maximum degree possible* so I’m sorry.. He has only ever referred me to one other doctor, whose idea of therapy was to tell me what I did wrong, after almost a year I cut the cord on our relationship. I have been to mental health (which is free mind you) on three separate occasions, only to have them either not take a interest, try and literally bombard my life (in every way possible) and become some sort of therapy mother, and of course the rudeness of it all. I realize that there isn’t much help available to mental health patients when it requires more then just the once over, take this, your good, live your life. I know that’s not in all occasions. But it feels like it is here in this city.

I would go to Mental Health again if I knew I could actually go, I started school to get my GED in November 2013, so I don’t really have all that much time, they aren’t open on the weekends and they close at 4pm during weekdays. It doesn’t really fit into my schedule. I know some people are saying I’m making excuses, and blah blah blah. But I’m really not. I’m always at the doctors, because every month he wants to see me, and he never tells me why, and when I do go he asks why I even came. I don’t know, but it just seems to me that there could be a better doctor out there for me to actually have. But with it being practically impossible right now to have a family doctor, I’m stuck with him. There is a huge waiting list to even get a family doctor, and unless it’s critical you don’t move up the line or even put.

My doctor stresses me out more then one should. He recently just sent me for blood tests (no big deal) and an EKG. Now, my brother has a heart problem that wasn’t caught until 2013, and he needed to have a valve replaced, so shortly after his surgery I was sent in for blood tests and echo-cardiogram, everything came back normal, so I’m not exactly sure why an EKG was necessary? I am happy he’s doing something that is suppose to be done. But what I don’t understand is why he feels the need to practically give up on me when it comes to my mental health. It’s a question I will never have answered, and unfortunately me and him will have our relationship until he retires or I can some how find another doctor.

Maybe, it would be better for the patients to interview the doctors to see if they really are the right fit for them. pfffft.


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