In 5 Months

March.20th 2014 I lost Bear, he passed away from advanced kidney failure. We didn’t know what was wrong, we honestly thought he had caught a bug.

A little over 5 months later September 6th 2014 I brought my dog into the vet because he had an infection in his ears, everything was going good, the vet told us he had a yeast infection and ear drops were in order. Where Nimmer was 6 she wanted to do some basic things to make sure he was good to go. No big deal, he got the once over and had blood taken. We left knowing the vet would call my cell phone with the results of Nimmer ‘s result.

We didn’t make it home and the vet called and had said that we needed to go back where she found something concerning. I knew something was wrong.

Back at the vet I sat there nervously waiting for the vet to come in and tell me what was going on… According to my boys blood test he had a red blood count of 14. In a normal dog it’s suppose to be 40 to 60. And his reading for his kidneys were so high their machine couldn’t read it.
That was it, all I heard after she said that, that Nimmer was severely ill internally.

There wasn’t anything I could do to help him. The vet wasn’t sure if his low blood count was due to the kidneys or a bleeding tumor in his stomach, which most of the time is cancerous and do not have a high outcome. She explained treatment options but every option would counteract with something he had wrong, and with everything he had developed a heart murmur.

She was surprised that Nimmer hadn’t passed away before bringing him to the vet…. Wait, come again? How didn’t I see the signs? Am I that oblivious that I couldn’t see my dog was sick? No, apparently I wasn’t. She let me know that dogs will not show discomfort unless need be. So how long was my dog sick for? I have no idea. I did know that I wanted to bring him home and let him pass away with me his mom. That wasn’t going to happen where if he did she couldn’t tell me it would be peaceful. That was the line. I knew I had to put my dog to rest. There was nothing I could do to save him nor anything they could do.

I can’t remember how long I sat there and hugged him telling him I loved him so much and that I was thankful I was able to call him my dog and that the 6 years I had with him were amazing….

He’s buried at our home, facing the water, he loved to swim. He’s no longer sick and he’s no longer suffering.

I’m left with the guilt of wishing I could have saved him, laying in my room is empty because his side of the bed is empty. There is no big cuddle dog there to nudge me when he’s sleepy, no stretching his paws at me to knock my phone out of my hands because he wants a belly rub. I miss him more then I can put into words. He was my first dog, my Nimmer, my baby boy, and my handsome man. I love you Nimmer.  RIP

Nimmer –

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