Category Archives: About Me

My Story..

Not too long ago a friend of mine is doing a project to give to Jared Padalecki in April, she asked us for our story, simply, our life with our mental illness, how Jared himself has helped, and how our family (AKF- Always Keep Fighting) has helped us. I gave her my story after having a few people read it to see if it was good. I got a lot of good responses on it so I decided to post it on my blog for others to see. Hopefully it can help someone, maybe they will reach out or maybe no one will read it so it will be put into cyber-internet for no one to see.. Either way, here it goes.

 

I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and most recently PTSD.

In March,2010 I was currently working at a call center for Philips Products. I loved my job and looked forward to going each day. A few weeks before April I started having nightmares, they were when I was travelling to work by city transit, which is what I always did so it was nothing foreign to me. In my nightmare when the bus was travelling over the Reversing Falls Bridge the bus would go off the road towards the cliff and we would go over, I’d wake up then. I should have taken it as a warning but I didn’t think much of it.

About a week after the dreams started when I started taking the bus I would get really nervous and my hands would be sweaty. Once I did the transfer to the other bus that went towards my work it was a few short minutes than I would be fine, after work taking the bus was fine, I was having no issues.

Usually around that time of year work was really slow so we were allowed to call in before shift to see if they needed us, if not we were allowed the day off without pay. I was hoping to get this day off because my mother and I were supposed to go to the mall where I transferred buses so I could pick something out for a dress I was going to be wearing to a graduation of a friend. To my luck, it wasn’t busy and was able to have the day off.

My mother and I took the bus to the mall, the same bus I took to go to work before transferring, around the same time on the bus my hands got sweaty and I tried to focus on something else. It always worked in the past, but it didn’t feel right this time. The feeling which I now know as anxiety went away and we arrived at the mall. When we got the mall I started feeling the anxiety again and told my mom I needed to use the bathroom. I raced towards the bathroom and went into the stall. I sat down and tried to will the feeling to go away but it just got worse. I was getting sweatier, my vision didn’t feel right, like I couldn’t focus on anything, my stomach was doing flips, my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. My mother at this time came in to see what was taking so long, I felt embarrassed because there was other ladies in the stalls and I could only yell out that I would be another minute. When I finally thought, I could get this under control and everything in my body calmed down I came out and told my mom what had happened. We walked up the hall towards a store and it all rushed back into my body and I started freaking out, I told my mom that I was going to go outside for a smoke, she was preoccupied and I don’t think she really heard me. I ran outside tears streaming down my eyes, my body shaking, and all the other things I felt in the stall were happening. I remember the time, it was shortly after 12pm because my dad was on lunch at work. I called him and told him what was happening, he stayed on the phone with me listening to me and trying to keep me calm. He told me to call a cab and go back to my moms. After he let me go I remember seeing a construction worker watching me and thinking if something happens he will see. I called the cab and it arrived within minutes. I didn’t even think about my mom. I was running towards to the cab to jump in and mom yelling out my name running after me. She got into the cab and she was clearly upset with me, I told the cab driver where to go. In 10 minutes, we were home. I paid and ran into the apartment. My mom yelled and she didn’t understand what was going on, I tried to explain but she didn’t understand. I felt very sick to my stomach. Every day after that for a week I called in sick because I was scared to leave the house. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. After 2 weeks my father came by and told me we were going to see my doctor. I was clearly not doing well and he needed to know what was wrong. The 20 minute drive felt like forever and I was constantly drinking water because it felt like that was the only thing I could do to keep calm. My doctor diagnosed me with severe anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I was given medication and a follow up with a doctors note stating I was off of work for four months on medical leave.

Ultimately, I was also diagnosed with agoraphobia, I lost my job in November,2010 because I was hardly able to stay at work long enough without having another attack.

They were constantly changing my medication and I was seeing a mental health worker. I was put on medical leave until further notice.

I suffered with it in silence for years because neither my parents or friends understood what I was going through. One day while just browsing Facebook for Supernatural related things I came across a group called AKF Always Keep Fighting. I requested to join, and immediately found what I needed, a FAMILY. Hundreds of other people who were going through what I was. I found a place where I felt I belong. I was never turned away or felt unwanted. I knew Jared Padalecki suffered from a mental illness but I never knew he had shirts/sweaters/tanks through a website that helped. I missed the first one, and everyone after that I had gotten a hoodie from his campaigns. I even got one from Jim Beaver’s campaign that had said “Family don’t end in blood.” All these sweaters were very important to me and I learned more about TWLOHA. Jared became more than just actor, he became some one I could relate to because he never hid his mental illness. It was something everyone in our SPN family could relate to and become apart of. Those hoodies meant the world to me, knowing I was apart of a fandom, a family, a collective support group.

Over the years from 2010 I was able to do more things but still suffer, I went to see a therapist and through a lot of hard work I had repressed memories from when I was child. I had always suffered from mental illness, I remember having panic attacks as a child and anxiety. It was a breakthrough but also a set back because I my brain had supressed memories and now they were haunting me.

In November 2015, I moved from Saint John, NB to Fort McMurray, AB, in May 2016 there was a wildfire that reached the town. I moved back home and seen someone and learned I had PTSD. I had lost everything in the fire. All my hoodies from the campaigns, things I can’t replace from family that is now gone.

My SPN family rushed to my side and people donated money to me to help me get back on my feet. I was overwhelmed with support from people all over the world. Even though I was going through a devastating time there was my family, supporting me, pushing me through. 

I couldn’t be more thankful to Jared, to my SPN family, the people I became close to over the years. The people who no matter what I share everything with and help. To these people, they have changed my life for the better, even when I feel like I can’t go on. I think of these people who help me push forward. I hope to meet Jared one day and be able to thank him in person for what he was done for me even though he doesn’t know. My story is far from over and I’m still trying to cope with everything but I’ve learned to be more open about my illness, I speak about it with people who are just learning about it. I lost all my friends when mine became too much and no one wanted to deal with me. I’ve learned it’s ok to have set backs, it’s ok to need help. It’s to Always Keep Fighting.

Advertisements

Life In 2017 So Far With a Bit Of 2016 Thrown In

240_f_96907193_fmznay4vo3o5uxjuwd1jxuaaxuu8abaf

I should be writing more into my blog, as there is so much I want type but I never do, I have the app on my phone as well as my tablet. I have a computer, so why is it I never write? I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t write is because I’m so worried about what other people will think of me. I think maybe it’s because my thoughts and rants will make people think less of me somehow. This isn’t how I wanted to start my first blog of the year, so let us get on with my true purpose for this blog.

We’re only 13 days into the new year, and so far it’s been pretty good. Back track a bit into 2016, my dog Trapper turned 1 in October, he was spoiled during his birthday.PC240222.JPG

Christmas was also a really good time, it’s the last Christmas as a “single” person with my dad and family. My dad made it really special, it wasn’t like other past Christmas’ before, so I really reveled in it. My uncle Bob was over, my brother Scott his fiancé Reeva and my niece Sarah came over for the day and had dinner. I don’t normally don’t get to see them so I was extremely happy to have them there. I took a few pictures of Christmas, here are a few.

Those are some of the photo’s I took on Christmas day. Funny enough my brother, uncle and dad all bought each other the same jacket. Apparently everyone had the same idea.

Shortly before Christmas Arthur and I had our engagement photos done by Pristine Photography. Here is a couple of them. She’s an amazing person and amazing to work with as well.

My fiancée was home until the 7th of January which was nice to have him home for 3 weeks, he is now back in Alberta working, sadly I won’t see him until June. Since we are getting married in New Brunswick I have to stay here to work on the wedding and meet with people still. Our wedding is in July, the day is coming closer than I can imagine. My wedding dress is suppose to come in next month sometime, which I’m extremely excited for, fittings and seeing it again, and also the shoes I have for my dress, it’s going to be more real than it was before. I’m taking my mom to pick up my dress since my dad doesn’t want to see the dress until the day of, which I really like.  Since my fiancée was home we were able to get him fitted for his tux, pick out our wedding bands and also meet with the Father. I got readings approved for the wedding, which is a great relief so I was able to send out the readings to my niece and a family friend Alyson.

Since we aren’t very far into the new year there hasn’t been a lot of stuff that has gone on day to day. Overall, I’m assuming this year will go by very fast, with a lot of ups and I’m sure stress.

 

Also check out the “About Me” section as I’ve added other ways you can follow me on different social media platforms.

It All Started In May

image

May seems like a perfect time of year for most people, spring has started and usually you can see flowers start to pop up everywhere, generally, it’s a pleasant welcome from winter.

Back track to November/2015, Arthur and I were driving across country to our new home. We left New Brunswick November.7th,2015 and got to our new home November.11th,2015. We got a puppy in December and named him Trapper.

Skip to May. The snow had finally melted, the weather had been really nice the past week or so. May.1st a small fire started in the woods near my house, it was what you deem out of control and there was a voluntary evacuation for that part of the neighborhood. I remember wanting to leave because I knew it was that time of year for wildfire season, nothing I had never had to seriously worry about but now living West it’s a little different. Arthur told me not to worry, that it wasn’t coming this way, it was burning in a different direction. I remember thinking I wanted to pack a bag, but shrugged it off as me worrying too much.

That night our apartment smelled like you had decided to set up a camp fire in it. By morning the smell was gone mostly, but outside still stunk.

May.2nd, outside you could see on the opposite side a new fire had started in Gregoire. You could see water bombers going, fire retardant being dropped by planes, and a lot of thick grey smoke. There was ash falling from the sky that day.

Here a few pictures from Gregoire, I did not take these photos.
image

image

image
image

image

That night I didn’t sleep at all, I’m not sure why but I couldn’t. Finally it was time for Arthur to wake up to go to work, I sat with him while he got ready and left for work. I still wasn’t tired, the clock rolled around until 7 am, I figured I would stay up until I get a hold of my doctor and make an appointment to get some medications refilled, also to allow an release for my medication, I also had to get a hold of the vet so Trapper could get his vaccines and an appointment to be neutered. It turned out my doctor couldn’t get me in and also was leaving the practice so now I was wide awake, I called the vet and made Trappers appointment. I started to look online to see which doctors in my area were accepting new patients, I had found a doctor and called and made an appointment for a few days later.

I also checked on the fire status on the Alberta website and when I looked, the status was ‘under control.’ I looked at the time and it was already 1pm, I decided I should probably try and get some sleep, I put my phone on mute, plugged it in and went to try and fall asleep, which came much faster and easier than I had thought it would.

3pm The dog woke me up by barking, I got up before I let him out and went to the bathroom, let the dog out and checked me phone. Seventy-eight missed phone calls all from Arthur. I didn’t have my glasses on yet so I had thought I misread the number. Looked again, and yes — seventy-eight missed phone calls, I had no idea why there was so many but I didn’t think anything bad at all. I was about to call him and his number came through on my phone. I answered and I don’t remember the exact words at first but then he said “The city is burning down, you need to leave.” The words didn’t register, I said OK… OK??? That’s what I said, like it was no big deal. He was very panicky on the phone and he was explaining Ivite and her fiance Jay were going to pick Trapper and I up and to get what ever I could and leave.

Arthur explained to me that he wasn’t allowed to leave work because the highway coming South bound was closed, the fire that they had under control that morning took a turn for the worse. The temperature sky rocketed into the 30’s, humidity wasn’t helping the winds changed, the perfect storm for the fire to thrive and come alive.

I grabbed our laundry basket that I thought had clean clothes in it, turns out a few shirts and socks were in it, grabbed only a few more clothes, our passports and the Trappers leash. That was it, that’s all I grabbed because I thought it was going to be OK and we would just be back the next day.

Ivite and Jay picked us up, I’ve never met them before and I was already a huge mess from having a panic attack and being more scared than I ever thought possible. Trapper could tell something wasn’t right so he was nervous. We hopped in their truck and we left, I called my dad and explained and he hadn’t heard what was happening so he was trying to calm me down. I let him go because I didn’t know when I could charge my phone. Turns out Jay worked for the fire department, so I felt a bit more safe than I had moments before.

Driving towards safety was terrifying, there was flames on both sides of the roads, so many cars all moving perfectly in unison like there had been rehearsal days before. Once we were on the highway I called Arthur let him know the dog and I were safe and we were heading south towards the fire department near the airport, he still couldn’t leave but there was not as much panick and he seemed more at ease once he found out we were safe. As we were driving there were cars left abandoned in the middle of the highway on the grass and on sides, on the sides of the hills were neighborhoods were just feet away there was flames. They licked down and up the hills, I was in utter awe at what was happening, all I wanted to do was get somewhere safe and see Arthur. As we were coming right outside the city there was a Super 8 motel, it was completely up in flames, trucks next to it blown up.

Twenty minutes later where the highway keeps going south and the turn that let’s you onto Airport Road there were police cars guiding traffic making them go straight. They knew who Jay was and let us up, we had made it to safety! All I could do was just think I’m safe, the dog is safe, where is Arthur?

Ivite could have not been nicer towards me, she knew from Arthur I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety. We called Arthur and he was in the process of trying to get a truck to leave since they had just reopened the highway going south from his work.

I waited around, just keeping close to the truck, trying to calm down while talking to my dad on the phone, I had told him to please not let my mom know that the city had been evacuated where she would go into a frenzy and I worry about her health. He promised me that he would go to her house first thing the next day and explain everything and to make sure when she got the news she was going to be OK as much as possible.

Hours and hours went by, I became more calm, more at ease, it was dark and in the skyline you could see multiple pop ups of bright orange. Then the mood changed, all of a sudden 40 or more emergency vehicles came from all over Alberta, ranging from police, peace officers, water trucks, and fire trucks came into the yard and parked and started heading into the fire department. Towards the left there was a bus station and city buses with “EVACUATION” were dropping off people who didn’t drive and could not get out of the city. I called Arthur again for the millionth time trying to figure out where he was, he was making his way to us, traffic was still at a standstill even hours after I had left.

Something that made me smile, someone seen I had my dog and offered me food for him because I didn’t grab any or a bowl. Someone offered my dog food even though he had only brought so much. Trapper was still nervous, not knowing what was going on. He barely ate, but he was drinking plenty of water.

Jay had left to go down to the road block, he knew Arthur was coming and he had wanted to make sure the police knew he would be driving a work truck and was looking for me. A few minutes before midnight and Arthur had pulled up, he started to say that Jay had taken me up and Jay came right over and waved him through, I had been constantly watching the road to see if any cars or trucks that weren’t emergency vehicles were coming up the road. FINALLY, I seen a white truck, I knew it was Arthur! I waited for him to pull in and park, I ran to the truck with Trapper, I gave him a huge hug and didn’t want to let go all the while crying and telling him I was so glad to see him and that he was safe. Trapper had his turn and he was so excited to see him. It took Arthur which normally would have been 30 minutes or less 7 hours to get there.

I felt relieved, safer, more calm. I called my dad to let him know I was with Arthur and I would call him the next morning to let him know what was going on. Arthur and I decided not to try and leave that night to Edmonton were the highway was still jammed packed and he was dead tired, but we were going to spend the night in the truck than head to Edmonton the next morning. We stayed up for a bit listening to the news radio broadcasting from Edmonton about the fire, Arthur kept thanking Ivite and we all just talked and let things sink in.

I didn’t sleep that night at all, the day kept playing through my head, the dread I felt, the images replaying, why I had put my phone on mute, and I kept watching the skyline as new colours of orange would pop up still. At 6am I got out and stretched my legs, Arthur woke up not too long after and found me just sitting on the tail gate. We agreed we would leave at 7 30 am to go to Edmonton.

The firemen that night had “broken” into the grocery store and brought back bus loads of food, drinks, dog and cat food, medicine, and baby things. They would never be in trouble for getting the food because of the situation and they needed to keep their families that were there and themselves fed and hydrated. We grabbed a few things like crackers and dog food and we started to get ready to leave. We said goodbye to Ivite and Jay and we were on our way, not knowing what was going to happen next for us.

We finally arrived in Edmonton at 4 30pm, that drive usually takes 4 1/2 hours, on the way I called and made a reservation at a hotel that accepted dogs so we knew that when we got there we would have a place to go.

The second night there we had been informed indirectly that we did lose our house, I broke down, everything we owned was gone. I thought I should have grabbed more things. I lost things that are replaceable and things that aren’t.

We stayed a total of 4 nights before learning that no one was allowed back to the city as most homes were destroyed, and some neighborhoods completely gone.

We flew back to NB on the fifth day. As of now I’m still here waiting to go back, we are allowed back after a month but the people like me can’t go back because we don’t have a home.

These photos below are of my house, I’ve circled them in red so you can see our property. The photos are from multiple views.

image
image

image

image
image

What I’ve Missed From Having Divorced Parents

I’m going to start off by saying I don’t think my childhood was in anyway horrible or any less loved.  This is just what I’ve noticed from having divorced parents. 

I’m 25 going on 26, I was 13 going on 14 when my mother decided she was leaving.

Looking back now I can see that they weren’t happy at all growing up, they stayed together for 36 years.

They tried to hide the fighting between them, but then again what couple doesn’t have their moments? Growing up my parents stopped sleeping in the same room when I was around 5 or 6. Mom had always told me that it was because dad didn’t could handle mom snoring.  Young and blissfully gullible I believed it, that it was normal. Dad was at the camp on weekends if him and I didn’t have our bike rides together. Mom and I went shopping together. I couldn’t see anything wrong with this picture.

In September mom had had enough.  She looked herself into the bedroom for a good couple of weeks and only came out for showers, food, or going out. I knew what was going on and waited for the worse. They told me they were separating and that mom was going to live in my uncles apartment building. Of course, I cried like a baby. 

Looking back, they made every attempt to keep me away from their ongoing marriage battles. Holidays were spent with my family and I and we would visit our cousins after. I thank them for that because I had a great childhood. 

What was missing was the dancing between them in the kitchen to songs, kisses, hugs, and the love between them.  Clearly they were not happy, and I don’t blame them from splitting up. They get along like best friends now. 

What I see between other older married couples use to make feel uncomfortable where that wasn’t what I had or came from. I no longer feel uncomfortable but maybe a little sad because I missed out on having that. I never felt any less loved because I had two amazing parents who would jump mountains for me and still would. They are my parents and I love them unconditionally.

Time has passed and my dad has remarried and my mom still lives in the same apartment building but she’s grown so much stronger for herself. I’m proud of both my parents for having the courage to walk away from each other and realize that they were better off living separate lives. I know some people never/don’t have that kind of love regardless if the parents are together or not. I’m thankful for my upbringing.

Overthinking Much?

Over the past few months I’ve gone through so many things I think it would drive someone literally to drink. I’ve thought about the what if’s, my past and how it reflects me, my future, and so much more. Although, reflection isn’t a bad thing, I can honestly say I take things way to serious, and over think way too many things.

I’m not sure what it is but I seem to always fall back to what I need/want. Not what I have. I’m not only talking materialistic things, but what follows my name, what schooling I have, what people think of me.

Just because I know these habits are horrible and self destructive and probably lead to a mental breakdown with way too much hard liquor involved I can’t stop. No matter how much I try, I’m always over thinking and worrying about something. I can give great advice when need be, don’t let the past determine who you are, learn from it, don’t let what other people think about you bother you. It feels already used to the point of when someone says “I’m sorry” too many times… Per say.

At least I can say it’s me, it’s who I am. I can’t exactly change how I think, but if anything I’m learning to catch myself when I start to over think and go into an OCD fit.

There’s a War in My Mouth; No One is Winning

“It’s fighting for space” ….. Come again?

Wisdom teeth, art thou a pain in my @##. Yes, that’s right, my bottom wisdom teeth and the gum behind it (towards the back of my mouth) are fighting. For what? Space… I always thought I had a pretty big mouth, guess not.

As my dentist said, who by the way is one of the greatest men alive, thanks to him, I’m no longer scared of the dentist. But yes, my dentist told me when I went to see him a few months back complaining of my back gums hurting and it was starting to hurt when I swallowed. I had assumed it was my wisdom teeth growing in still. 25 and they aren’t fully up, well it turned out it was an infection. Oh?

Turns out my wisdom teeth since they aren’t able to fully grow in because of my gums there is a tiny flap of gum, completely microscopic that hovers over my wisdom teeth, because of this when I eat sometimes the food particle gets stuck under it and since you don’t realize it’s there and you can’t exactly lift it up it will get infected from time to time. Perfect…

My options, have the bottom two removed, which is not a big deal where the top ones got pulled 2 years ago almost. Or have them cut my gums and remove part of it. Well, you can see the option that I’m willing to take.

I leave the dentist prescription in hand for some medicine that’s going to take care of the nasty little problem. About 5 months later and my gum is now sore. I still haven’t gotten the teeth pulled, who wants to be pricked with needles, numb, your tongue might as well not exist, and the drooling that comes over.

I now have an appointment with the dentist on the 30th and see when he can yank the stupid things.

It’s a war in my mouth right now, either tooth nor gum is not winning, I’m not winning and my pain threshold is getting low.

On the bright side I can now count it as part of my body that’s been removed. Seriously, I’ve had my gallbladder go Chuck Norris and has since been removed, other wisdom teeth, and my eyes are getting worse every time I see my optometrist. I believe it’s safe to say if this keeps up, I’m going to go insane. I think a good talking with my body will help set it straight… Maybe.

An Update

Since I haven’t done an update in a while I figured it was time I get my but in gear and do so.

Did you know it is actually possible to have two colds at once? I sure didn’t. I’ve been sick since the beginning of October, near the end of November my cough was something more of a morning thing and the beginning of December it took revenge. So, being the procrastinator that I am I went to the after hours clinic this past Monday. Turns our the cold I had in October was a bad one and when I was finally getting rid of it, I got hot with another strain of cold. Needless to say, I’m now antibiotics. Here’s hoping these work and I’m better before Christmas.

I have also got my but in gear and started to go back to school to get my GED, I’ve only been going since the last week of November but so far so good. It’s been a long time coming, my doctor put me on a new sleeping pill which also acts as an anti anxiety. It’s been pretty good. So I’m able to stay there for the 3 hours and work on it. I’m pretty proud of myself. It took a while to get there but I’m here.

Why Bother

Ever get that “why bother” feeling? I do. All the time. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do, or even go about it. Just seems to end up failing in some sort of way.

Most of the time I don’t understand why I even try, I mean if it’s going to happen it will right? But I’m the type of person who constantly needs to be in the loop and know what’s going on. I don’t like the “let it go” or the element of surprise. Which could very well be my issue with the why bother. Never the less, I do continue to “bother” because not doing so drives me insane. I need to be able to control what’s going on and near future things also. I just don’t do the whole easy going thing.

If I could I wouldn’t completely take that away from myself but I would turn it down a little, for the sake of my sanity that is. Of course others too.

This would surely get rid of my high stress level, and well I’m sure money would solve another huge chunk, and managing my panic attacks, anxiety, and depression would take away the rest of it.

Unfortunately, the last part is one of my biggest things, I’ve tried numerous times to get my doctor to change medication. This just leads to “I think your fine, blah blah, we will just up the dosage.” But that’s a completely different topic.

Sorry for the rant, as I have not written anything in a month on here but I’m sure someone else knows exactly how I feel to some point. If not completely.

How ‘You’ Still Cripple Me

April 2010, over three years, countless medications, countless methods from seeing a therapist (3 of them) a self help book, talking to people in my situation, and I still feel like I’ve made little progress.

I suppose I’m not the same girl who three agos couldn’t walk into a small convenient store who immediately felt panic sink in, sweaty, shaky, and trying my best to labor my breathing. I can go into small less, crowded stores now. Being outside with too many people still makes the anxiety go a bit high.

I don’t think I’ve been cured, if anything the medication just seems to have taken off the extreme fear. If anything I feel like I’ve now managed just to accept it and deal with the constant reminder that I’m no longer the girl in use to be when anxiety rears it’s ugly head. Which seems to be more often then before.

I still remember what it was like to live without this mental kick in the head. I remember how much I took for granted. Just walking into a crowded area or taking a bus. Those things that I once took for granted have been taken away from me and have been replaced with fear and panic. Simple things that I did everyday of my life have become a challenge more times then not, and have the ability to bring me to my knees.

I often wonder why I was met with this challenge. It feels like my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Being around me in a place where I’m comfortable you wouldn’t know I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, and depression.

The only thing this hasn’t taken is my personality. Everything else feels robbed. I’ve lost friends, lost things I loved doing.

I’m sure someday this will eventually go away and I’ll no longer be a prisoner.

Questions…

Some random questions I found off the internet. Figured it would give people more of a sense of who or how I am..

Say something good that happened to you today:
There was no arguing today and thankfully it wasn’t really hot out.. I hate the heat, if I could remove summer from my life, I more and likely would. Although I love to swim, so that might be a problem

What is your general philosophy of life?
Everything Happens For A Reason

What is the worst thing you have lived through?
Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a horrible thing, but gallbladder attacks, for those of you who never had one, be thankful, it is such a horrible pain. I literally thought I was dying the first time I had an attack. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

How old is your inner child?
Depends really, if I’m just hanging out having fun then I’d say young enough.

Do you believe in a higher power, and if so, what name do you give it?
I do, and God. Although I’m not highly religious nor have I ever red the Bible, I do believe he exists.

Are you allergic to anything, and if so, what?
Penicillin

Favorite animal?
Anything from the larger Cat Family.

Coffee, tea, or soda – how do you get your caffiene fix?
I dislike coffee, tea is good, as long as it isn’t the regular ‘King Cole’. Usually I’m found with soda, Pepsi or Coke.

Idealist or realist?
Idealist

Are you lucky or unlucky?
Well for the most part it seems to be unlucky, but I could be wrong, we just seem to always remember the negative rather then the positive.

How much do you normally tip?
Depends, Tim Hortons, 0.25$, Hair Cut, 5.00$ … You get the idea.

Last time you got sick?
I’m not 100% sure to be honest, I have to thank my immune system for not constantly giving me colds and what not

Favorite word or phrase to use when cussing someone out?
Mother F usually comes out when I’m mad. I don’t tell anyone off, mainly because I hate confrontation.

Best Movie Within the past five years?
Probably, anything Marvel related.

What is your quest?
To be happy

Favorite TV drama?
Dexer, and I have to say I’m upset this is the last season

Favorite sitcom?
The Big Bang Theory

Favorite reality show?
American Idol/The Voice .. I only like the auditions then I stop watching lol.

Favorite game show?
Family Feud

Favorite talk show?
Ellen of course

Favorite toy as a child?
I had 2 actually, one was my ponies (one was pink, the other purple) I don’t know why I liked them so much, but I was attached to them, and the Barbie Cruise Ship.

Last thing you made with your own hands
Hot Dogs

Last time you were hospitalized?
When I had my gallbladder attacks *multiple times*

Favorite kind of flower?
A carnation

Favorite word?
I don’t think I have a favorite word, or none that comes to mind at least

Last thing you picked up off the ground?
A receipt

Favorite book as a child?
The Velvatine Rabbit

Do you have any siblings, and if so, how many?
I have 2 older brothers

Make _____, not war:
Peace, love is so generic and cliche

Surprise parties – yes, or no? Why not?
No, I really dislike the element of surprise. Not exactly sure, never liked it

Where do you get your news from?
CNN, CTV

If you had to challenge someone to a duel of some kind, what your weapon of choice be?
Nun Chucks I think

Favorite kind of soup?
Beef and Barley

Favorite thing to do on a cold and rainy night?
Watch a movie or draw/paint

Favorite mythology?
Greek, I love the stories and I love the Gods from it

Favorite magazine?
Probably Cosmo

What do you know how to fix?
Well I can fix most problems on a computer

Favorite place to go in the town you live?
There is a lighthouse at the end of my street and it’s beautiful there, very peaceful

Favorite munchie?
Chips

Movie with the best one-liners?
When The Fuck Did We Get Ice Cream?

What did you buy on your last trip to the store?
Smokes

Worst habit?
Smoking

What do you grab to drink when you’re hot, sweaty, and thirsty?
Anything that is handy lol

How many different kinds of solitaire do you know how to play?
Regular, Spider, Klondike, Pyramid

What are you a member of?
Not a thing

Is the glass half-empty, or half-full?
I always try to look at it as half full, although it doesn’t always work out

Who is the wind beneath your wings?
LG

Would you follow the white rabbit down the hole?
Of course!

Favorite comedian?
Jeanne Robertson, Dane Cook

Walk, bike, ride, or drive?
I have a strong dislike for walking, I like to bike, and I don’t have a license but when I had my permit I loved to drive